So, I don't know how, but I somehow spent 3 out of 4 days this holiday weekend doing the same exact thing with the same exact people. The sun was shining, the pool was glowing, the beer was flowing, and the company was good. That is all.
We did put together this game yesterday though. There are two nets that stick into the ground, and then there is what looks like a biirdie and a golf ball's offspring. So you are supposed to hit the golf ball biirdie with an actual golf club and see if you can get it in the net. After very few attempts, everybody decided that it would be way better (and easier) if we just threw the golf ball biirdies instead of using golf clubs. This is currently Schroeder and I's new favorite game. We call it "bum darts" for some odd reason.
A funny thing happened the other day. My sister Sally's boyfriend was talking about how he wanted to shave his head, and of course, Sally says "NO! You have an ugly head." After everybody laughed their asses off, she added, "well it's true. He has a lumpy head." To which he follows up with a story about how he has a dented head because he was hit with a SHOVEL at one point in time.
So in past summers, me, Schroeder, and my sisters all discuss how my dad wears his underwear with his bathing suit. Every time he puts his bathing suit on, there they are. The Jockeys pulled up WAY higher than the swimsuit, so everybody can see. When Schroeder told us that that wasn't normal for guys, we were shocked. Well, Sally was shocked. Because everything shocks her. But it must be wicked uncomfortable after you go swimming, right? Hanging around in your wet Jockeys all day. Not like this surprises me, because it's normal behavior for my dad. You know, being weird.
So on Friday we finally made fun of him for it. We held off long enough. Then YESTERDAY Sally and I notice that we cannot see the whitie tightie Jockeys hiked up. It's just my dad in his bathing suit. This did not seem right, so I turned to Sally and said, "is he not wearing underwear with his bathing suit today?" and after observing she said, "Well, maybe we just can't see them." Then later in the day...it was revealed. I was in the right place at the right time when he turned to my mom and said "Hey look! (sticking out his backside) No Jockeys!"
While we are on the subject of my dad, I feel like this following story describes him more perfectly. We are all sitting on the back deck, eating the oodles of food that we had, and my dad is just tearing through it all. He fills his plate up, and then takes a bag of chips and rips it open with his teeth, nearing spilling the entire contents onto the floor. As he is eating, he drops numerous chips, and the ones he doesn't pick right back up and eat, he ends up stepping on them. It's like having a dog around the house. When we drop food on the ground, we call my dad over to come and eat it. So then, we are all watching him just DESTROY everything on his plate, we notice that he is just adding random ingredients to his sandwich. When he wasn't really looking, my sister Lucy carefully placed a chip inside of it. I'm pretty sure he saw her do it, but he ate every bite of it, without saying anything about the chip. This worries me deeply.
It also worries me when we ask him what a Butterfinger candy bar tastes like (he devoured one the day before, not caring whose it was), and he says "Oh you know, it has a lot of caramel. And a cookie inside."
So in a nutshell, the entire weekend consisted of sunburns, mosquito bites, overeating, and NO hangovers! (surprisingly) So now my arms and shoulders feel like they are on fire, every part of my body is itchy from the mosquito attack, and my belly sticks out to California. Was it worth it? Absolutely.
-Jenny
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