"I smushed his BRAIN into his ASSHOLE."

I don't understand why I have a sunburn when I didn't even sit outside for that long today. And I won't even call it a sunburn because A) I didn't even notice I had it and B) it's only in a few spots. It's like the poison ivy of sunburns. It's only on my left upper arm, some of my chest, and on my stomach in an ameoba type shape. I do not understand this. But either way, it's funny to me. And oh yeah, I have a perfect necklace outline.

So everyone is going to hate me for saying this: I think the Bruins are going to blow the last game. I don't want ANYBODY giving me that "oh you have no faith" bullshit. It's called being truthful. It's just that they haven't been doing well and it's a reasonable notion that they might lose tomorrow. If I was friends with somebody in a wheelchair, I wouldn't tell them that someday we will go jogging together.

So it's summer weather, finally. But when summer comes, the nightmarish creatures come along with it. They come into your house, they steal your girlfriends, they break into your cars, they ruin your life. That's right, spiders.

I've been prepared though. I've even dubbed one of my sneakers as the "spider killing sneaker". Cool name, huh? It took me forever to think of that one. So when I see a spider in my room, after I lose my voice from screaming, I grab the sneaker and I just go bananas. I murder them, and when their decapitated body is left twitching on the ground, I SPIT on them. Then I "vampire" that shit and light it on FIRE.

Okay so I don't do that. But I DO cry when I get close to it.

I'm not crazy. I swear.

My dad is the only person in the world I think that flips through like 800 channels and STOPS on George Lopez. You know what's funny about George Lopez? NOTHING. Or...HIS FACE.

So today my mom and I went to lunch at the Plymouth waterfront because it was such a magnificent day. We planned on sitting outside, so on our way in, my mom asked this man in a suit if it was okay if we just went out back to sit outside. I'm pretty sure this man did not work for the restaurant. So I did what any person would do in that situation. I put my sunglasses on, started walking away, and pretended like I didn't know her. But she says that she was sure that he worked there.


Well, goodnight.
-Jenny