"you'll love this song Jen, it's about sex."

So this is the way it's always been between my sisters and I. Lucy and I are more of the "mellow" ones, kinda relaxing most of the time and not really needing to do much. Sally, on the other hand, needs to be doing something at every minute. The only thing I can really compare her to is a goddamn hummingbird.

So it's Sunday morning and upon waking up, I look at the clock and realize it's 10:30. Everything around the house seems quiet, so I have a feeling that Lucy was still sleeping as well. It was one of those mornings where you just feel like staying in bed. Which is exactly what me (and Lucy in the next room) were doing. Then, the worst thing imaginable happens.

Sally's pitter patter up the stairs. And then when I wonder who's room she'll choose first, I already know it's mine. And the funny thing is, she doesn't knock, she just busts in. But it seems as though she doesn't even turn the doorknob when she opens the door. It just sounds like she breaks the door in half upon entering.

So anyway, there's nothing worse than waking up to Sally's high pitched voice in the morning. It's like the kind of voice that only dogs can hear. Upon waking up, sometimes I'm like "oh my god, that's a really annoying bird outside my window, somebody should shoot it." But then I realize it's just my sister. So she comes in, starts talking in this voice, sits down and starts eating some food that I had in my room. Then, the questions come.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TODAY?! WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING FUN! WHAT'S LUCY DOING? IS SHE STILL SLEEPING?! WAKE UP, LET'S GO!"

It is here that I usually think about throwing Sally off of my balcony. But instead, I do what any good sister would do. I tell her to go bother Lucy. Which she does. And seeing as how our rooms are right next to each other, I can hear their conversation. It didn't go well, and it led to Sally coming back into my room. I did what any good person would do, which is to advise her on the rules of talking to people while they are still in the stages of waking up.

This is what I said: "You know, maybe you should wait until people wake up before you start being wicked fucking annoying." To which her only response was to crack up in laughter.

This is what we look like on a good day. We love each other, we really do.

Anyway, let's go to another liquor store story. So it appears that I have become a regular, to which I have no surprise. But what I didn't know was that I'm starting to get discounts because of it. It's like......"Your wine costs you 12 dollars? Well MINE costs me 10 dollars because I'm a favorite here." I really should not be proud of this fact, but I kind of am. Especially when the cashier greets you BY NAME when you walk in and then says "9.99, just for you" when you're buying a 12 dollar bottle of wine.

There's nothing worse than having a Black Eyed Peas song stuck in your head all day. And I mean ANY Black Eyed Peas song.

Something I've been doing lately: I've been falling asleep to my TV, and I hate it. I hate it because I fall asleep to a show that I chose to watch, such as American Dad or That 70s Show, and then I half wake up at about 3-4 in the morning to some scary friggin show. It's like some weird ass show or movie that's on and I'm not really fully awake so I have no idea what the HELL is going on. Most of the time I think  it's a dream, but then when I'm so scared because of the weird shit that's going down on the TV, I grope around for the clicker to turn it off. But it's like, when I fall asleep to the TV, it's like "OF COURSE this is the night they decide to play Final Destination 3 at FOUR in the morning. And I wake up in a fog right where the rollercoaster part is taking place." Come on now.

I'm just saying. There's nothing fun about falling asleep to a nice TV program and then randomly waking up in the wee hours of the morning to people screaming and dying in awful ways while you desperately try and find the remote. I almost pee my pants every time.

Here you go.


-Jenny