"And then Harry Potter said the magic words...HOCUS POCUS!"

Nothing interesting every happens around here lately. Except for the fact that apparently Sally is PISSED at my dad for eating the pineapple she had in the fridge. This happens to be the same pineapple that she brought home and couldn't stop talking about because it was from the Farmer's Market. My sister likes to pretend that she's an old lady by going to ridiculous places like the Farmer's Market. She also thinks it's amazing when she's awake at 11 pm. So anyway, she recently brings this pineapple home and pretty much treats it like a goddamn baby, and when she looks away, my dad eats it. It's funny to me because A) on the tag that was on the pineapple it had said "the PERFECT pineapple." So not only did he eat just any pineapple, he ate the perfect pineapple. And B) The fact that my dad just opens the refrigerator and is like "oh man I'm so hungry, this PINEAPPLE looks good." Who DOES that? This man.

You can see how excited my sister is to take a picture with him. Surprisingly, this isn't the sister with the pineapple.

Anyway, "Sixteen and Pregnant" just came on the tv and I'm too lazy to get up and change it. Even though watching this show is probably the worst possible thing to ever have happened. Why are these people getting famous because of having no morals and having a strong urge to open their legs to everyone? "Oh, you don't have a condom? That's fine! What's the worst that can happen?" These girls are without doubt the DUMBEST human beings on this planet. They make the Jersey Shore cast seem like Einsteins. I'm actually not even sure if that's how you spell his name. But yeah, sixteen year olds not knowing how sex works, thus resulting in a baby, is just a mess. And the boyfriend is always much more clueless and braindead than the girl! She's all like "I'm pregnant! I'm going to have a baby I think..." and he's like "BITCH WHY ARE YOU RUINING MY LIFE?! I WAS GOING TO BE A GAS STATION ATTENDANT. GET SOMEONE ELSE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU." So nobody needs to watch this season of "Sixteen and Pregnant" because I pretty much just summed it up for you. I'm talking to you, Sally.

But yeah, here I am, being wicked cool and funny, and am I rich and famous? No. You know why? Because I didn't get knocked up when I was a preteen.

-Jenny