Always blame other people

I was thinking about high school the other day, and a series of stupid memories came back to haunt me. I say stupid because high school BLEW for me. I was taken away from all of my middle school friends to be put in a school a half hour away, where I basically didn't know anyone. Except for my sisters. And I actually didn't mind the uniforms, which were oxford shirts (you could ACTUALLY choose blue, white, pink, or yellow!) and plaid skirts. For me this wasn't a huge problem, people would have probably made fun of the way I really dressed anyway. But having uniforms were kind of cool, it saved time in the morning.

Now, I don't need much time to get ready anyway. I don't really wear makeup, and if I do, it's not much. I didn't do anything special with my hair. And I would choose which knee socks I wanted to wear the night before. So my time getting ready in the morning was probably ballparked around 5-10 minutes. I know I'm making this out to seem like I went to school everyday with no makeup whatsoever, hair a rats nest, and two mismatching knee socks. But that's not how it was, I swear. Okay, maybe sometimes. Only about the hair and the knee socks. It's not my fault navy blue and black look the same sometimes.

My sister, Lucy, on the other hand, was much different. I felt like she got ready for the school day the night before, and then continued when she woke up. It was like an ongoing process. I swear, she had to look like a supermodel every time she left the house for school. I mean, it probably doesn't say much about me, but I would look at her and be like, "ugh, she actually CARES about her appearance!" as I stumble out the door with my hair in a messy bun and my mismatched socks and my sneakers (that I wore with my uniform).

ANYWAY. This caused trouble sometimes. I was a sophomore and Lucy was a junior. She drove us, because I could not. Our school's policy was that if you had 3 tardies in a semester, you got a detention. Simple as that. And a tardy meant, of course, you were not in your first class by the time the second bell rang.

SO, now that that's cleared up. I would just like to point out that during high school, I probably said about 5 words. I even got the superlative of "Class Quietest." (you bastards). I did nothing wrong, I never got in trouble with anyone, I never had any problems. Except with grades from time to time, I hated math and history. I'm pretty sure that the TEACHERS didn't even notice me.

That being said, I somehow gathered up 3 tardies during this semester because Lucy would cut it so close in the morning. I would wait for twenty minutes every morning while she would get perfectionized. So the 3 tardies went like this: we'd park our car in the parking lot when the first bell rang. We'd speed walk into the building, which would put me at my locker when the second bell rang. All alone in the hallway. But wait! How many tardies did Lucy have? NONE!

Do you know what she used to say to me?! "Why can't you get to your first class?? Did you spend too much time at your locker?!"

...

So ANYWAY, I got a detention slip one day. It sucks because they used to pass them out in homeroom. Everybody watched as mine got delivered, and they had curious eyes, as of to say "what the HELL?" because they all knew I was a quiet retard. But anyway, I served this detention with all of the other disturbed children. I read "The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath and I remember thinking, "you know what? this isn't bad. I get to read or write or do whatever the hell I want!" I'm sure it was killing the other kids because they couldn't talk. But I never really talked, so it wasn't completely awful for me. Although when the principal came in, before it started, she joked around and had a blast with the fact that me of all people were in that room. She would talk to the teacher that was supervising us, saying things like "Keep an eye on her! She's trouble! I want to make sure you have a clear view of her!" and she would move any objects in the line of vision. Hardy har har. So funny.

I'm not complaining or anything, nor do I wish detention on my sister. But she didn't have ONE tardy?! Not ONE?! Maybe she had those roller skate sneakers. It must be. She'd be like, "screw you, JEN!" and wheels would explode out of the soles of her sneakers and she would haul ass down the hallway, knocking a few kids over and laughing like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers as she ripped around the corner. This is the only logical explanation.

I have forgiven her, but someone who looks like this DEFINITELY has wheels on the bottom of her shoes.


-Jenny