So every weekend my two sisters take over the kitchen and just cook a billion things. They Martha Stewart that shit up. On Saturday, (before she sobbed while watching the movie Nights in Rodanthe) she made minestrone soup. The last time she made it, she thought it was the greatest thing ever. She would say things like, "I did SUCH a good JOB!" and "You HAVE to try this, I made it so good!" So this time when she made it, she tried to get me to try some of it. Of course I tell her Hell no, because the only soup that I will ever eat is chicken noodle. But when she asks me WHY I won't try it, I simply reply with "because it looks like throw up and I don't eat things that look like throw up because I might throw up."
Case closed.
Anyway, then I went to a butcher shop with Lucy, deciding it would be best to leave Sally and her minestrone soup alone for a while. But the second we walk in, the only thing I could pay attention to was the stench. Now, I know that dead animals smell bad, but still. And looking around, there was a lot of goddamn meat. Like, big heaping mounds of MEAT. It made me feel bad for a second, because if I COULD be a vegetarian, I WOULD. But in all honesty, I could never do that because I eat meat like it's the last thing on earth. But I think the funny part about all this is the fact that Lucy ordered Lamb chops. Then she came home and googled recipes for "lamp chops" and google said "did you mean recipes for lamb chops?" and she said yes.
On the ride home she was trying to figure out if she had to go to Shaw's. I didn't want to go so she was like "I don't think I NEED to go right now, I'll just go later." But then a few seconds later she said this: "Oh nevermind, I have to go now. I want a Red Bull. And I need Peas."
Peas, Red Bull, and lamb chops. Sounds like a party in the tummy. Or a REALLY bad idea.
Sally and Schroeder were playing a game on NHL 11 tonight and it is here that I heard my sister (who teaches first grade) call Schroeder a name I have NEVER heard before, but will never forget. And it was this:
"Mothercrapper".
It's funny how teachers' language changes. It gets all boring and less colorful and not funny. Although saying "mothercrapper" when you get angry is pretty goddamn funny. Kind of like shouting out "WHORES" when you drop something. True story. It's kind of like you have tourettes (I spelled this wrong I think, the red line is showing up.) Sometimes I wish I had tourettes, because then I could shout out funny profane words and not get in trouble for it. Because when you shout out "ASSBAG" or "WHORES", people start to look at you funny. Just sayin.
Here's this.
This kid opened for Owl City when I went to see them. He calls himself Unicorn Kid and he always performs with a Lion hat on. And apparently, as you can see in the video, he really gets into his music. I hope that's it, because if that wasn't the case, I would say that he was having some sort of seizure.
I think that's all there is to say, except for the fact that we were all making fun of Sally and she said that she thought we were complimenting her, saying "her hair smells like sunshine." If she wants us to compliment her, I feel like giving her one that actually makes some sort of sense would be better.
-Jenny
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