Like honestly?
As if Mario and Luigi weren't retarded enough, they made even dumber characters. Their voices are pretty much the same, just less nasally.
So anyway, whenever we play Mario Party on N64, I always choose Mario as the computer player, just so we can gang up on him and show him to his FACE how much he sucks. And if anyone I'm playing with actually CHOOSES to play Mario (or Luigi), then oh boy, I'm going to LIGHT them UP.
That's like putting a "kick me" sign on your OWN back.
But yeah, Yoshi? Coolest video game character EVER. He doesn't cause trouble with any of the other characters, he doesn't have an evil twin, he doesn't get attacked by Bowser, he doesn't have to save that stupid goddamned princess, and best of all, he eats and poops out eggs!
I wish Yoshis really existed. You know, to have as pets. I wish this could be invented, but it can't. Because you can't invent animals. But if it were, I would totally get one and name it Henry.
He would give me rides just like he gives small Mario rides.
We would go across the pastures and over rainbows.
ANYWHO. I was thinking about our trip to St. Martin that we took when I was eighteen years old. I was thinking how different it was. I was thinking about how naive and innocent I am, and how that doesn't quite mix well when you're there.
We went there with our parents friends and their kids, who we grew up with. One night, the adults went out by themselves and us kids went out by ourselves. We went to a bar called the "Sunset Beach Bar" and it was (what do you know!) right on the beach. It was really hoppin, so we grabbed a table on the patio and then my sister Sally and I went to the bar to order drinks. It was crowded and we weren't really getting helped, so we kind of just waited there for a possible turn to sneak in and get the bartenders attention. And then this is what we saw.
A short girl comes from behind us, pushing us aside as she barrels through the crowd like freakin DONKEY KONG. So Sally and I are like "oh, BITCH" and we watch as she goes up to the bar. The bartender notices her, and then he lets her in behind the bar with him and the other bartenders. At this point we were intrigued by what was going on. Then this happens:
The girl TAKES HER SHIRT OFF and is hoisted up upside down in a harness type contraption. Although this harness I speak of was probably made from tied together dirty socks. So here she is, shirtless (and when I say shirtless, I mean braless as well. And by braless I mean her ta tas are just hanging out there for everyone) and upside down in front of EVERYONE, and the bartender comes over and MAKES OUT with her. Like he is legit sticking his tongue down her throat. THEN, they do the only thing that's really left to do at that point. And of course that is to pour liquor down her throat.
I am not making this up.
Now, Sally and I are not used to things like this, which I'm sure we are not the only ones. We watched this happen right before our eyes, as we were very close where it took place. I'm pretty sure our mouths were open in shock the entire time. Once this show was over, I don't know if my memory serves me correctly, but I'm 89% sure she yelled, "I have a kid at home!!!"
And we found out why she does this, because we found that she does this a lot. So why does she do it? Because she gets free drinks for the remainder of the night.
Apparently, she is like the celebrity of the "Sunset Beach Bar". Or the Snooki.
We finally got our drinks though, which were simply a glass of wine and a beer. We were very different from the people that were there.
Anyway, here's another cat picture.
She's clearly trying to hog the spotlight.
-Jenny
No comments:
Post a Comment