Wine cruises are clearly not for me.

So over the summer my sisters and I took my mom on a surprise wine cruise for her birthday. Now, my sisters and my mom are huge wine-o's, but I am more of a beer girl. I'm not saying I don't like wine, don't get me wrong. I just prefer beer most of the time. I'm surprised they even took me, because I clearly don't fit in with the "let's drink wine with THIS course. And drink this different wine with THAT course. And notice how this wine has a different HUE than that one, this is dark dark red and this one is just dark red. And do you TASTE the GRAPES in this WINE?!" With me, it's like "Jesus Christ, order a pizza and get a case of beer and watch the Bruins game."

But I was all game for this night, because I knew it was going to be fun. And it definitely was. They took us out of Plymouth harbor and the sun set while we were out there. It was BEAUTIFUL.

So I knew from the start that the food on this menu was not my thang. It had terrible things, such as lamb, shrimp, and pears covered in goat cheese. I am extremely picky with food, so this obviously was bad news bears. But the funny thing about a wine cruise is that they give you a lot of wine. I know, I wasn't aware of this either! So you know, the more wine I have, the more open I am to try new foods. Like lamb. Guh.

So the dessert was at the end of the night. In other words, after many glasses of wine. Now, I knew at the beginning of the night that the dessert was pears with goat cheese dripped all over it. And at the beginning of the night, I had already ruled it out. But that all kind of *mysteriously* went away as the night carried on, and I completely forgot. They were bringing it out and my sister Lucy said jokingly, "it's melted vanilla ice cream on top!" She was joking of course, but I didn't know this. I believed her.

So here I am, munching it all up and saying how good it was. It wasn't until the ride home where I heard Sally say "yeah and Jenny ate GOAT cheese!!!" I was livid. I started yelling "that was GOAT cheese?! I thought that was vanilla ICE CREAM! I ATE ALL THAT!" which of course, only made them laugh louder.

I'm sorry goats. I ate your cheese.


There was another funny thing that happened on that wine cruise. When they gave you a new glass of wine, if you weren't done with the one you already had, you could dump it out in a barrel they brought around if you wanted to. Or you could just down the remainder like I did. Either way, it was up to you. So we are watching some people use the little barrel to dump the little bit of wine they had left, and it is here that Lucy says:

"Jen. You should go around to all the tables and ask people if they want to dump their wine. And if they say yes, take their glass and just down it."

This brought much laughter. And the funniest part was, I actually thought about what a cool freakin job that would be. "Are you done with this? Oh you didn't like this type of wine? What kind is it--? Ah screw it! Not like I give a damn! *glug glug glug*"

Anyway. My sisters and I were talking tonight and Lucy was saying how she bought some Elizabeth Taylor movies. She had asked if I wanted to watch some of them and I said "HELL no" because that sounds about as much fun as walking on hot coals while giving a bear a piggyback. Then she asks Sally if she would watch some with her, and she replied with "only if we can have champagne while we watch them!" oh NO you didn't! The ONLY movie that you can drink champagne while watching is Dr. Suess' "Horton Hears a Who." And that's a rule.

In other "crazy family news", apparently my dad likes to munch on chips in corners of the house. All you hear is someone munching chips close by, but you cannot see where he is. He is the phantom chip muncher. He should have a cape.

Song?? Song???? How about Alexi Murdoch "The Light (Her Hands Were Leaves)."


-Jenny