Eating stuff off the ground

I just got home from work and you know what I saw? Apparently they make cards FOR humans FROM cats. Ummm........

As much as I would love for my cat to be able to talk to me, I've accepted the fact that she cannot. Because I am somewhat sane. I think that these cards are for crazy old women who believe that their nine hundred cats can talk to them. And be all like, "It's my birthdayyyyy! Who got me a birthday cardddddd? AWWW thank you Tabitha!" And the cat's probably just sitting there like....."yeah okay whatever you crazy bitch, why don't you get some human friends?"

For me, I just take funny pictures with my cat.

And I DON'T get upset when she doesn't go to the market and buy me a birthday card.

So the other day I was in Sally's room hanging out with her and upon walking in, I saw that she had accidentally knocked over a bunch of stuff and just neglected to pick it up. One of these things was a bag of M&Ms. So they were scattered all over the floor. Then, after a while, Schroeder comes in and sees the M&Ms on the floor and asked what happened there. Then, he proceeds to pick them up and eat them off of the floor. It was funny and all, but then he continued to do so for approximately the next fifteen minutes. I'm pretty sure he ate all of them, or close to all of them. I guess it's not that bad, but he apparently forgot that this was Sally's floor, and God knows WHAT has been there.

For some reason this reminds me of a time when Schroeder bit a beer bottle cap off. If it was a twist off, it wouldn't have been so impressive. Well maybe a little. But it was a Heineken bottle and those mofos are NOT twist off caps. So when we were eighteen years old we thought it was cool to drink a shit ton of beers every wednesday night, because we thought that made us rebels. We were probably like "Yeah! we have SCHOOL tomorrow morning but we're gonna get drunk ANYWAY!" which, looking back on, probably made us the biggest geeks in the world. But anyway. We had a bit of beer and Schroeder decides to BITE the cap off. Watching him do this, I was pretty sure I was going to hear a crack, and it WOULDN'T have been the beer cap. I thought about making up a story about how I punched him and that is why he had no front tooth. I thought it would make me seem so cool.

So finally, I hear the hiss of the beer opening and I am in complete shock. I'm pretty sure I exclaimed, "OH MY GOD, THAT WAS THE COOLEST THING I WILL EVER SEE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE." and i'm not really sure, but I think it still holds true.


anyway, that is all.

-Jenny.