You can't make brownies without drinking wine.

Well I have to do this quick because in all honesty, I am going to watch "skins" at ten. Don't judge me. It's better than watching the stupid Bachelor (ette). "Oh I'm worried because he might not get along with my daughter." Well lady, you are twenty four years old and your daughter is like...six. TEEN PREGNANCY MUCH? MAYBE if you didn't have a kid when you were in HIGH SCHOOL, your pool of men to choose from would be a little bigger, because their first thought wouldn't be "HOLY SHIT you have a goddamn KID!" and probably run away without looking back. Or at least walk away in a fast manner.

And why would you want to be with a man who is kissing/making out with/having sex with/playing doctor with/wrestling with/sticking his tongue in other women's mouths?! The whole thing is shady to me, but like I stated before, I don't understand many things.

Just like I don't understand why some Borders are going out of business. You know why?! I have come to the conclusion that everybody is freaking stupid. Nobody reads anymore. It makes me so mad. Instead of sitting down and reading a good book, what are you doing? You're going out to bars and getting blackout drunk, you're watching TV all day on the couch eating potato chips, and you're playing endless hours of World of Warcraft, or whatever the HELL you play on the computer. Why don't you forget about watching endless hours of the Jersey Shore, go out and buy a BOOK? (it's okay for me to watch the Jersey Shore, because I read as well. I don't make the rules, I just follow them.)

Maybe if people read more books, they would actually know how to spell. And read. In one of my classes last semester there was this girl who was reading a paragraph of a story out loud and she didn't know how to read the word "rendezvous". We are in college, people. COLLEGE. For some odd reason, I almost shouted at this girl when she butchered this word, trying to sound it out. I feel retarded, being in the same classroom as these people.

There are certain people who don't know how to read well, but I can't really say anything. Because although I know how to read, I have also dropped boogers on my best friend when I was on the top bunk of a bunk bed. He didn't know why I was giggling, and when I finally told him, he stood up and punched me on the leg. But this is nothing new. Because this is the same kid that pulled his pants down and farted on my pillow.

Now, I'm aware that only having a blow up mattress to sleep on is probably not the most comfortable thing in the world. I get that. But apparently people are very anal about their blow up mattresses. This is what I've learned so far:

1) If you ACCIDENTALLY step on the mattress, you get a TV remote hurled at you.
2) If you PURPOSELY step on the mattress, you get shoved to the ground.
and finally...
3) If you decide to step on the mattress and then start DANCING on it while laughing in his face, you get a bare assed fart right on your pillow.


This is the same kid that did this when I asked him for a "girls gone wild" pose.

Incidentally, the mattress eventually deflated for one reason or another. He says I broke it when I danced on it.

I say he broke it with his fat ass.

It remains a mystery. Just...like...Inception.

Anywhores, it is time for "skins". However, I want to make it clear that I am only watching it because I am concerned about these young children that are on this show. I try and talk them out of bad decisions. I yell at the TV and I tell them, "you BETTER not! You will NOT take that handful of PILLS!" and then she takes the handful of pills. And then I tell her to pack her things and get the hell out of my house. Then I realize it's a made up TV show and this girl does not live in my house.


-Jenny