Dogs and peanut butter.

It's weird how people sometimes have no shame with their writing. I never understood how people wrote certain things without getting embarrassed. Even in my poetry and fiction writing workshops, some things that the other kids would write about would shock me.

Take Chelsea Handler for example. She is obviously one of my idols, but I cannot believe what she writes about in her books. Even though no book whatsoever has ACTUALLY made me laugh out loud like hers do, I really do admire her "no shame" attitude. I mean, whoever can write a whole book about how many one night stands she has (in full detail) for the world to read is okay with me.

I guess I'll always just be a quiet, naive, innocent little mouse in the corner. This shouldn't be news to anyone.

But anyway. Playing any kind of game with my best friend (Schroeder) is always a blast. Any kind of game that requires you to NOT show anybody what you have, we have to show each other, which defeats the entire purpose. When we play UNO, we used to sit next to each other and show our cards to one another. Then we'd start singing the contents of our hand to the entire table in the style of the song "8-6-7-5-3-0-9." It would go something like this: "eight-four-two skips-and-a-reverse."

So we play this game called "THINGS" and it's always interesting. Somebody picks a card and it will say something like "things you shouldn't do when you're naked." and everybody will have to write something funny. So, the card that was drawn was "things that are harder than they look."

And Schroeder decides to write "trying to get a dog to lick the peanut butter wherever I put it on my body." Which of course makes the entire room erupt into laughter. I don't know where he comes up with these things, I really don't.

I watched a part of "Skins" and there were about four or five boys in the woods and they were complaining about how they can't get high in any way on this school camping trip. Obviously, this is the worst possible thing that could ever happen to these kids. "You mean we can't get HIGH for TWO DAYS?!" These kids basically have nothing else to live for, so if you take away their weed/drugs/booze, they will probably just shrivel up and die. So anyway, they happen to find a rather large frog and what do they do??? They start to LICK the frog, because apparently that can get you high. I actually laughed out loud at their stupidity, and then it got even better! (or worse, for that matter.) One of the boys grab the frog from the other one and he pretty much put him in his place by saying "you're doing it completely wrong," and proceeds to basically french kiss/stick the frog halfway down his throat. I mean, you probably shouldn't be proud of the fact that out of everyone that's in your group, YOU'RE the one that knows how to mouth-rape a FROG the CORRECT way. It's like, "nah guys, check out how cool I am. I'll show you how to french a frog! Now watch carefully cause I'm only gonna do this once--oh who am I kidding? I do this all the time."

So what happens when they're done? Turns out, they DON'T get high. Turns out, they're all idiots. They all start throwing up. I mean, who would have thought that licking a dirty ass frog would make you ill? THIS IS AN ABOMINATION!

Anyway.

The new issue of Rolling Stone magazine has a picture of Justin Bieber on the cover. When it came in the mail, I grimaced upon seeing his ugly, 12 year old face. And his stupid freaking hair, which he decided to "mess up" like he just got out of bed. (This is before he cut it). So when the power went out this morning, I said to myself, "you should read this, Jen. Because then, you would know more about him so you can hate him for a REASON, instead of just hating him for NO reason." So I read all of it, and most of the time, when I read something about someone I don't like, it changes my mind about them. With Justin, it just made me hate him even more.

Everything that he said in this interview was just completely ridiculous. He was just talking about how cool he thinks he is and how everybody loves him. AND the person who was interviewing him kept saying how adorable he is. ADORABLE?! I want to punch this kid in his stupid little face. Then I'd be all like "Baby, baby, baby...OWNED!" Or I'd just kick him in the crotch, and he probably wouldn't react at all because there is nothing there.

Heh. Goodnight.

-Jenny