I know, it's from a book.

    So I've been hearing people tell me that I should "start blogging" things about my  life. I didn't know whether to follow their advice only because nothing funny ever really happens in my life. And if it does, it's only funny to me. Also, blogging reminded me of nerdy people sitting in front of their computer every night writing nonsense in hopes to get followers. I didn't want to be a nerd, but then I figured it's unavoidable. So here I am.

   I'm going to go ahead and do my family members and friends a favor and change their names. Just so they don't look like assholes. Because sooner or later, they will. So the only thing I can really do at this point is to change their names to the characters from the Peanuts cartoons. This makes sense to me. Keep this in mind.

So my sister, let's call her Lucy. She comes home from her birthday weekend with these $120 dollar Ray Ban sunglasses. I say "oh BOSS! Let me get mine!" Mine came from Newbury Comics and they cost me $10. In my opinion, I was the better shopper.

  
  In most pictures taken of me and Lucy, we make the same face. It is not planned.

   So in other news, people should probably understand that my father (who we are going to call Pig Pen) is...let's just say...crazy. He is the kind of man that walks around the living room in his underwear (probably with a few holes in them) saying "has anybody seen my clothes?!?!" This is already a funny situation, but it's even funnier that my grandmother, my sisters, myself, and my sister's boyfriend were all present in said living room. It's times like these where I am just at a loss for words.

   He also wears a "doo-rag" when we go on vacations. I feel like this should be said.



   So I was told to blog about funny things that happen. The only funny thing that really happened today so far was that my other sister, Sally, had asked if I had chap stick that she could use. This was a stupid question, because I cannot go a day without having chap stick in my left pocket. Hesitantly, I gave it to her and she pretty much ate the goddamned chap stick. After she smacked and slothered (I'm pretty sure I made this word up) her lips, she handed it back to me. I have since bought new chap stick, as I'm sure any sane person would.

Before I go, I am going to leave with saying that everyone should listen to the song "New Slang" by The Shins. Because as Natalie Portman tells Zach Braff in "Garden State", it will change your life. Listen to it through headphones too. If you won't do it for me, do it for Natalie Portman. She's cooler and prettier than me.

-Jenny