Animal crackers.

As a follow up to what I previously discussed about people not knowing how to read or spell, I should have known Shaw's Carver would be the root of it. I've known for a while that 97.5% of Shaw's employees are juvenile delinquents. This is not news to me. But I have to see EVERYWHERE these complete idiots in action. For example, the grocery crew that I work with are all boys. This doesn't really phase me all that much, but it just means that I have to listen to what boys talk about with each other. How many girls they've slept with, how this one is still a virgin, how that one has 4 girlfriends (one of which is a bisexual who is dating a girl at the same time), how many times they masturbate, etc. Just recently I've actually found out how immature these boys really are.

I have the misfortune of sitting with these boys while they actually eat. It's almost like being at the zoo. When they're not completely stuffing their faces with food, they are THROWING food at each other. I, of course, am right in the middle. Now, I have never been hit with food (which is actually something to be very proud of). But the fact that these children are throwing food and chasing each other around the breakroom, and THEN tipping chairs over, is something that is quickly getting to me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I don't like my job. I'm saying I hate my job.

Tonight I'm upstairs getting my stuff to go home and I see this typed sign on one of the tables. It went something like this:

"Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah, please clean up after your self's."

SIGH. Now, I definitely appreciate the note for reasons stated above. HOWEVER, whoever typed this note is clearly illiterate. "self's"? REALLY?! The sad thing is, the person who typed this note was probably someone from management. Which means they are old. Spelling and grammar errors piss me off like there's no tomorrow. Just seeing this note makes me realize that I simply cannot be surrounding myself with this poisonous environment. Sooner or later, I too will be using the word "holded" instead of "held", because, yes, that is what one of my retarded co workers had said during a story. He is twenty years old.

But ANYWAY. I was at the Christmas Tree Shop with my sister Sally this morning. Normally, I stay away from these stores as much as I can because A) there are so many old people, and B) everything you buy will more or less BREAK ten minutes later. So when we meet up after we "shop", (I put this in quotes because I didn't shop but simply roamed around like a zombie, trying to dodge old grannies with a very serious mission to love a bargain) I find that Sally has a very interesting basket of things. The one thing I will point out is the fact that my 25 year old sister has a big jar of animal crackers. The jar, of course, is shaped like a giant bear.

On the ride home she asks me to "bust out those animal crackers" which I do. I decide to have a few as well, and it is here that I realize that all of these animals are MUTANT animals. They all look the same, like animals that were dipped in acid. Or had a stoke. Or it is possible that they were all replicas of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. So of course, I decide to hold up one of the animals and yell: "WHAT the HELL is this!?"

To which of course she responds with: "I don't know! Is there a list of animals on the back of the box?"

I have many problems with this statement. Although it's extremely funny, this isn't a bag of Skittles. Or a mood ring. There is no "list" as of to what these freak animals are. Maybe it's because the makers of these animal crackers had NO idea what the hell the animals were supposed to be. The only one I actually understood was the camel. And let me tell you, it was definitely a sad camel.

SONG TIME! It is "If You Ever Come Back" by The Script. I can't tell if it's a happy song or a sad song.

-Jenny