Let's get right into it, shall we?
On my birfday we went out to Plymouth at night for some dranks. It was perfect weather, and we got to sit on the balcony outside. AND, there was this keyboard player who knew all sorts of songs! We requested Elton John and Phil Collins and while he was singing, I was all like "OhmyGod, how awesome would it be if he knew 'Shout' by Tears For Fears?! So, of course, Schroeder and Linus go up and request it, but the guy said he didn't know that one. So you know what he did?! He played "Everybody Wants to Rule the World!" which is almost as good. But not quite. So we were taking pictures and I'd have to say this is the funniest one:
Schroeder thinks he's Superman, I'm acting like a retard (like always), and Lucy looks like she just realized that the Tooth Fairy doesn't exist. "Whaaaaat?" But aren't we the biggest bunch of winners you'd ever seen? And notice how the beers are FULL, not empty.
So on the ride home, Schroeder is driving and we have the windows open. We are stopped at a red light and there is this scraggely looking guy crossing the street in front of us. So of course I decide to yell to Schroder, who is right next to me, "HEY! Is that guy HOMELESS!?!" Then the guy looked at me right then, and gave me some sort of nod. It was then that Schroeder put the windows up and the light turned green.
So my dad was talking to us yesterday, and he was talking about when he was our age. After describing what kind of beers he used to drink from ages 18-30, he said this to Schroeder and I, and I am so not kidding:
"I even used to 'chug' beers. Do you guys know what that means?"
It wouldn't have been so funny maybe if he didn't act like he was hot shit when he said it. He said it like he thought he'd have to explain it to us, and when he did, we would be like "ohmygod THAT'S what chugging a beer is?! And YOU used to do THAT?! Whoa dad, you were crazy." But of course I started cracking up at him and then turned to Schroeder and sarcastically asked "do you know what chugging a beer is?! I just want to make sure." And then we (once again) had a good laugh at the stupid things my dad says.
While we are on the subject of my dad, let me tell a funny little story about something that happened this morning. And by "funny", I mean it really pissed me off. SO, I don't really know why, but my dad has to make the most noise EVER in the morning. When people are sleeping. That's when he makes the most noise imaginable. It doesn't really make sense to me, but then again nothing my dad ever does will ever make the least bit of sense to me. Kind of like when he does sit ups in his underwear.
So anyway, this morning I am awoken by a loud noise coming from outside. Of course it's him, working on his latest project/contraption. The funny thing is, this shit doesn't even need to be done at this time in the morning. He is just doing it because there is something wrong with the way he thinks. So at this point, I roll out of bed and go downstairs. It is here where my dad comes in and says this: "Oh hey Jen. Why are you up so early?"
Sigh.
I will end this blog post with a funnier story, or at least funny to me. You see, Schroeder has this thing where he gets really mad if you are sitting in the passenger seat in his jeep and you throw trash over your shoulder to the back seat. I always thought it was funny. He says it pisses him off because then it "gives him a reason to clean the backseat, which he doesn't want to do." So I kind of gradually stopped doing that, because I guess I kind of understood. Or because he kept punching me when I would do it. Or saying hurtful things. So this morning when we got iced coffees, I crumpled up the straw wrapper and threw it down on the ground of the front seat. When he flipped his shit, I said I "only did it because you said I can't throw it in the backseat." to which he replied with "just throw it out the window like normal people." and then I said "but I don't want to litter." But this scenario reminded us of something that happened a few years ago when I used to throw trash in his car a lot more. And this is what it was:
One time, when he had had enough of my trash throwing, he decided to plant a bag of McDonalds food in my car, under the seat. It took me a while to find it, after a few weeks of realizing that my car (which had a nice strawberry car freshener) had in fact NOT smelled like strawberries, but like the inside of a fat man's stomach. It was like someone had gotten liposuction and put the remains in a bag and put it under my seat. It wasn't really funny then, but when the memory came up today, we laughed. Because making a mess in friend's cars is funny.
If anyone knew what was good for them, they would listen to "Darkness" by Third Eye Blind with in their car with the windows down.
-Jenny
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