My sister draws like a first grader.

So last post I wrote a little bit about my dad in his underwear. But alas! I forgot to mention THIS.

A few weeks ago I was up late. When I finally decided to go to bed, I went into the bathroom first to brush my teeth and pee. When I was in the middle of brushing my teeth, I hear some stirring in my parent's room and then a gentle knock on the bathroom door. Then, my dad pushes the door open and he is standing there, of course, in his whitie tighties and squinting from the light. He looked like a 10 year old getting up to pee in the middle of the night.

Then he says, "oh, hey Jen. I need the bathroom for a quick sec."

And here I am, with my toothbrush in my mouth, saying "okay dad" and then having him burst into the bathroom without waiting for me to finish. He just shoved past me like I wasn't even there. I could have sworn in the midst of his bathroom urgency, if I hadn't gotten out fast enough, he would have gone anyway. But luckily, I got out. And never turned back.

So I realized today that I was in fact wearing a tie dye shirt, ripped jean shorts, and shoes that had a pattern that did not match anything. I think this means I am a hippie. All that was missing was a flower in my hair and the name of "Cloud" to go by. Oh yeah, and a nice pair of Jesus sandals. And a blank space where my brain should be. And a Volkswagen Bus from 1970.

I worked with someone tonight that had a horrible case of "SMELLING LIKE ASSHOLE". By "asshole", I mean "B.O." The whole night that's all I could focus on, and I had these visions of me screaming "HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SPEED STICK!? MY GOD, YOU ARE TWENTY YEARS OLD." But then when I got home, I started getting paranoid that maybe it was me. But I'm pretty sure it was him. He is a gross boy.

So my sister Sally left me a note the other morning. She is 26 years old, just got engaged, and is also a first grade teacher. This is a picture she drew, asking me if I wanted to hang in the pool with her that day.

As you can see, she has not only labeled her and I, but she has labeled my "short hair", like it was a person of its own. I also can't help but notice that I have some sort of Ace Ventura hairstyle going on. Also, I told her that I "look like I'm asleep" and she said "how on earth does it look like you're sleeping?" and I said "because you drew a short line when there should be a dot. That's a closed eye"

When I asked her what the BOX was, that I was holding, she replied with, "that's a beer." It doesn't look like a beer to me.

This picture amuses me and scares me at the same time. It amuses me obviously because our bodies look like those balloon animals that retards make at carnivals. And it scares me because this woman is teaching the youth of America. We are leaving our six year olds with this woman everyday, in hopes that they will learn something from her. Hopefully she is not teaching them how to draw. I've seen some of the drawings that her students do.....and they look exactly like her drawings.


So I friggin HATE the Foo Fighters. But I suggest everyone listen to the song "Home". It will give you a good feeling. I promise.

-Jenny.