"The Roommate"-a joke?

So yes, once again, I saw a movie that was supposed to be scary and I ended up laughing at it. Now, this one wasn't as dumb as "Jennifer's Body," (I don't think anything will ever be), but it was cutting it kind of close. So, of course I'm going to complain about it, because that is what I do.

First of all, let's get these names out of the way. Seeing as how the two main actresses have pain in the ass names, I'm going to give them initials, because Leighton Meester and Minka Kelly are too much work for my typing fingers.

So yes. Minka Kelly. MK.

She moves into college and finds out that her roommate hasn't gotten there yet. So she goes out with her new friends. And when she comes back drunk, she finds this in her room. And this girl would be Leighton Meester. LM.

So not only does LM look JUST LIKE MK (but a smidge less attractive), but they are both so nice. And MK is all like "oh wow, she is just so nice, she's definitely not going to threaten and or kill everyone I like or even talk to." WRONG. LM begins to develop an unhealthy, some might even say psychotic obsession with MK. I mean, yeah, she's pretty, but come on, cut the cord. LM just has this disorder where she wants her friends to only talk and pay attention to her.

Anyway. Moving on. Let's get into the details, shall we?

It starts off nice. They get along great. Even though MK likes to go to the clubs and LM is like "oh no you go ahead, clubs aren't really my thing. I'm too busy killing people that do so much as look at you." And MK is all like, "Okay, don't wait up."

So then LM starts to act kinda weird. I mean, MK's friend that she made the first night was taking a shower and LM just goes in there and rips out her belly button ring. She obviously means business. If that doesn't say "DON'T TALK TO MINKA", I don't know what will.

So I'm watching it and the first time I said, "Hmm, there's something wrong with Leighton Meester" is when she's going out to a show with MK and MK gives her these earrings to wear. This is a big deal to LM because of her hardcore girl crush. So MK goes to the bathroom and this is where LM looks in the mirror and notices "oh shit, I don't have my ears pierced." But she's obsessed with MK. What does she do? SHE STICKS THE EARRINGS IN HER GODDAMMED EAR! Just because they were Minka's!

I must say that I felt kind of bad for her throughout the movie. I know she had major issues and she was killing people and she was a psychotic sicko. BUT. She took MK home for Thanksgiving and they ran into an old "friend" of LM's. I put "friend" in quotation marks because it was obvious that this girl was LM's latest victim. But LM had the nerve to go up to her and introduce MK to her, and the girl says "Leighton, we were never friends." And I felt so bad. Then when they get back to the house, LM's mom is all like "has she been taking her medications?" which should have been somewhat of a red flag for MK. Just sayin. SHE'S OBVIOUSLY NOT TAKING HER MEDICATIONS IF SHE'S MURDERING PEOPLE. Or if she is, that is SOME medication.

This is what LM does at gas stations. That is a zippo lighter. As a normal person would know, these two things do not go together.

The other major offense was that MK was showing LM in the beginning of the movie her tattoo. It was the name of her sister that died, Emily. She had it over her heart. MK made it clear from the BEGINNING that her dead sister was a sore subject. OBVI. What does LM do in the middle of the movie? She goes and gets a matching tattoo of MK's. THEN! If that wasn't enough, LM says "You can call me Emily." WHAT A FREAK!

Anyway, that was it for MK. She moves out.

(BTW. I forgot to mention this earlier. LM puts a cute kitten in the washing machine. A KITTEN IN A WASHING MACHINE. I cried.)

So anyway, blah blah blah, Leighton's crazy, blah blah blah. The ending was dumb. To make a long story short, LM gets punched right in the mouth by MK's boyfriend. Then, MK freaking STABS her in the back with (you're not going to believe this) a BOXCUTTER. I had no idea they were Mexicans at this point. Then SPOILER ALERT! LM dies.

Now, I might be stupid. But, if you were stabbed in the back with a boxcutter, would you really die? I mean, it would hurt, I get that. But, it takes a lot to kill someone, and I don't think a boxcut wound would really finish you off. Maybe what killed her was the boyfriend's "I forgot about the hitting women rule" punch to the mouth, pretty much knocking her teeth to her intestines. I mean, guy, I know she's kicking the shit out of your girlfriend, but you can't hit women. You could have given her a papercut or something. Or a splinter. See, there are alternatives.

But the thing that bothered me was that right as MK stabbed her, she looked in her eyes and said "I was NEVER your friend." Which is exactly what the other girl said. And it's like, dude, you're already stabbing her with a boxcutter, why kick someone while they're down? LM already knows that she's (excuse my language) fucked up, why would you say that to her? MAYBE that's why she died! A BROKEN HEART! Because honestly, it was NOT the goddamned boxcutter wound.


Then the end of the movie is MK living by herself. Because she "doesn't want a roommate." Hmph. Snob.

I still can't believe how much they look alike.

It's like, "oh we look alike, I'M OBSESSED WITH YOU."

All in all. It was okay.