"Haha, she thinks we're texting each other about her and her peach pie."

So first things first. I like to complain about movies/tv shows/music/books that I might secretly like. Therefore, I am going to talk about the movie "Jennifer's Body."

Now, I remember when this came out, and I remember laughing about how dumb it looked. First of all, it's main character (Jennifer) is Megan Fox. Honestly, I cannot take her seriously. And what is this movie about you ask? Megan Fox is a cheerleader that turns into a demon and "devours her classmates" as the TV guide explained. And her best friend (Amanda Seyfried) has to save her stupid boyfriend from being eaten. To which (SPOILER ALERT!) she doesn't. And he dies. But he was kind of a mo anyway.

Let's move on. So I passed by this movie on Cinemax the other day. Although I was a half hour late for it, it was kind of like a train wreck and I couldn't look away. I wanted to change the channel, but I couldn't. So, I ended up watching the entire thing, by myself. And I would be lying if I said that I didn't close my eyes through some of it. Which, turns out, wasn't necessary, because it wasn't scary. But I didn't know that then.

So yes, Megan Fox turns into a flesh eating demon, and she seduces all these boys and then eats them like a casserole. Like, she turns their body into lasagna. And Amanda Seyfried sees Megan Fox when she's all bloody and obviously not herself. And then the next day at school, Megan Fox is her normal self. And Amanda Seyfried (although I really like her) is all like "wow that's really weird. Oh well, I can't explain it, I'll just make out with her." And they do, oddly. There really isn't any reason for it. They just make out. And then Amanda decides to use her brain finally and is like "WAIT! Stop kissing me! I just saw you kill people!" Chyeah.

But all in all, these pictures will pretty much sum up the movie.

She turns into a demon! And the first thing she does is go to Amanda Seyfried's house, raid her fridge, eat a chicken carcass, and projectile vomit black carnage all over Amanda. And all dumb Amanda says is something along the lines of "oh my GOD! Are you sick!?"

This is when dumb Megan Fox finds out that she is, in fact, different. As if the sudden change in diet hadn't tipped her off. "I used to eat one rice cake a day, and now I eat one BOY a day!!" Nice going, you should have noticed you were different when you realized you were a disease infested slut. Just sayin.

And this is what she looks like before she "kills". Oddly enough, this is probably what Megan Fox looks like when she's on her period.


Either way, I laughed out loud, I got scared, and I got confused. And I won't lie to anybody. When I checked the guide later on that night, I saw that it was starting again at 6:30 pm. And I watched it again. And I made Lucy watch it too. She said it "wasn't that bad". I think Megan Fox's last words in the movie sum up how bad it was. (SPOILER ALERT! Amanda Seyfried kills Megan Fox) and when she stabs Megan in the heart (cause that's the only way to kill her) Megan says after a long pause "...my tit!" Yep. I'm not making this up.


-Jenny