So, Sally and Lucy wanted to see Breaking Dawn, so of course, I wanted to go with them. Even though I'd already seen it twice. So we're on our way to the theater, and Lucy goes, "Oh! We forgot to make Cullen-tinis!" (FYI I have no idea what Cullen-tinis are). So we decide that we can just make them when we get home from the movie. Then Lucy says "although we don't have the stuff to make them..." and then I say "we can just make any drink Twilight related. Rum and Coke? You mean...Rum and CULLEN!"
So then we get to the theater and I notice that the same kid is working that worked when I bought my tickets for the midnight showing a few weeks ago. So as I am buying my ticket, he says "so how many times is this?" and I totally lie and say "oh just my second." Because seeing a movie twice isn't nearly as bad as seeing it three times. But I'm totally done, until it comes out on DVD. That is NOT a promise.
So for those of you who do not know, Sally is musically retarded. We have the exact same conversation every time a certain song comes on. Normally, when a song comes on, I usually bet Sally a different amount of money, depending on difficulty. I've offered her everywhere from 50 cents to 500 dollars to everything in my bank account. She has not answered one correctly yet.
So, this certain song has happened on more than one occasion. And that song is "Two Princes" by the Spin Doctors. This exact same conversation has happened twice in the last two months.
Me: I'll give you everything in my bank account if you can tell me who sings this song.
Sally: Sublime???!!
Me: No. I'll give you another guess for 100 dollars.
Sally: Green Day?!
It was funny when it happened the first time, but when it happened a second time, I almost peed my pants. Which reminds me of another time when we were listening to that song by Lupe Fiasco. You know, the one where he used a Modest Mouse song because rap artists don't have enough talent to make their own songs. So Sally comes out with, "oh I know who normally sings this song. Mighty Mouse!"
This is also the girl who thought that the song "Kings and Queens" by 30 Seconds To Mars was sung by Kings of Leon, because "they both have the word Kings in them".
During a conversation about favorite Christmas songs, Lucy asked me what mine was, and I replied with , "my favorite is Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer. Oh and Dominic the Donkey. Oh and you know I love that one with the whipping horses sounds in the middle." Thinking about how these are the top three songs that come to mind, I'm starting to wonder if there is something the matter with me. Then I stop myself from thinking such awful things and say "No Jen, there is DEFINITELY something the matter with you."
But I think I figured that out when I was a little girl and decided that I wanted to be a little boy instead. There's just something about a little girl demanding boy underwear from her mother at the department store that screams "problem child!" And also while getting a Happy Meal, when they used to ask if I wanted a girl toy or a boy toy, I would yell that I wanted a boy toy. It was like, "Screw that shit, I don't want a freggin barbie doll, I want the hot wheels!" But I've accepted the fact that I am not a boy, nor ever will be. And so I wear normal underwear now, just sayin.
PS. This is my husband.
-Jenny
No comments:
Post a Comment