"Well, I don't know. How would you hold an imaginary pipe?"

You know what's cooler than this? NOTHING. Santa, if you are reading this, please put this in my stocking. Because it would definitely fit. Just don't throw it down the chimney because it would get dirty.

So during a scary movie discussion with a co worker, The Grudge came up. Now, last time I saw the Grudge, I was 16 years old. And I never "saw" it because my eyes were closed the entire time. But nonetheless, it's pretty freggin scary. There are multiple explanations as of to why this movie is so frightening.

1) It was made by Japanese people. For some odd reason, the Japs are terrific horror movie makers. It's like they put the same amount of concentration in horror movies as they would math.

Maybe they are just trying to scare Godzilla away once and for all.

2) Most of the characters in the movie are in fact Japanese. For some reason, this scares me.

3) If the characters aren't Japanese, they are Sarah Michelle Gellar. Which rubs me the wrong way. (I could have been such a jerk and said "which rubs me the WONG way", but that would just be mean. As if everything I just said isn't mean at all.) But honestly, Sarah Michelle Gellar? Go back to having sex your brother in Cruel Intentions.

4) What's up with all the fucking hair?

5) Phones shouldn't ring right after they are smashed to pieces.

6) There is always going to be something hiding in your bed.

7) Going back to scary Japanese people. Boys who hide in closets and scream in a non-human way when you open the door?! Nuff said. During the whole movie I'm just screaming for this little Japanese boy to GO AWAY AND STOP SHOWING UP EVERYWHERE. Yes, we know you were murdered (woops, spoiler alert) and we know you're angry about it, but WHY AREN'T YOU HAUNTING GODZILLA?! He's the one you want! Leave Sarah Michelle Gellar alone! I know she's not Japanese and doesn't belong in this movie, but she's just a reporter!!! (Wait, was she? Or am I confusing this movie with The Ring?)

Anyway, I'm thinking about watching both of these movies, since I have technically not seen any of them. When I asked my co worker if he thinks I could make it through the movies, he said "no."

But anyway. Nothing is really new except for the fact that I walked straight into a wall this weekend. Without having any alcoholic beverages. And a few days before that I sat on my foot in a weird way, forgot that it fell asleep as I was sitting there, got up and almost fell right into my TV.

Well, I think I've trashed The Grudge enough, but I WILL watch them. During the day where nothing can hurt me. And then I will come back here and write a more descriptive post. Because once again, I have seen about 15 minutes of both movies combined.

-Jenny