Everybody in Twilight has a problem.

I love the Twilight series, as most of you probably know. In preparation for the new movie coming out, I've decided to read the book. Having read it 2-3 times before (shut up), this is simply just a brush-up. But the more I read it, the more things I'm noticing about the characters. For one, Bella is a WHORE! (In addition to my rant about Susan Sarandon in Rocky Horror, I guess this week is all about discovering sluts). But anyway. Obviously Bella loves Edward. Anybody in the world knows this. She doesn't only love him, but he's like her reason for living. And he feels the same way about her. However, whenever Jacob comes around, she's like a little school girl. She loves him, but she says "she loves Edward more". Psh. If I was Edward, I'd be all like "Oh thanks a lot, bitch. You love this godforsaken werewolf but you love me just a TAD bit more?" So then blah blah blah the books go on and in the third book, (SPOILER ALERT!) Edward proposes to her in the sweetest godddamn way, and she says yes. Of course, because A) LOOK AT HIM. and B) she's obsessed with him. Not 48 hours later, she plays tonsil hockey with Jacob. Now, if I had Edward as my husband, you bet your ass I wouldn't be running off to make out with a stupid Indian.

Which brings me to my next point. Jacob is annoying as HELL.

Bella makes it clear from halfway through the second book that she doesn't WANT Jacob. That she only sees him as a friend. That she wants Edward and she wants Edward forever. What does Jacob think about all this? "Oh, I think she means she loves me. I'll hang around and always get in the way, then. That's obviously what to do here."

But apparently he was annoying enough because she makes out with him. Gross. I mean, how does he have all this free time to be a homewrecker? Doesn't he have some sort of Casino called "Big Geronimos" or something like that to get back to?

Anyway, my problems with Edward. OH WAIT, there are none.

Halloween was fun.

And look, I have an old man pumpkin and a ninja pumpkin.

And this is a very creepy man.

It's funny because I watched Franklin and Linus set this guy up on the porch, and EVERY TIME I opened the door and saw it, I got frightened. Hah, his legs look like pancakes.

-Jenny