Here is a list:
1) Jobs that seem to be out of my league are giving me a chance. Who the HELL would want to hire a little girl with an English degree for a marketing company? Yeah sure, I don't know SHIT about sales, but I can write one HELL of an essay on any classic literature novel. Oh AND I can bitch you out if you use the wrong forms of "your, you're" and "their, they're, and there". Oh. and if you are wondering what the coolest story of Edgar Allan Poe's is (that ISN'T one of the ones that everybody and their GRANDMOTHER knows), I can totally help you out. Just saying.
2) That awkward moment when you check some cute guy out who is wearing a Beatles T shirt and cool hair and realize that there might be two problems. He might be retarded and/or he might be under 20 years old. Believe me, this is a new low for me. I get it. And I don't mean really retarded, I mean like maybe isn't completely normal.
3) I'm currently drinking white wine out of a small plastic Panera Bread cup. Like the ones that they give to you if you want a cup of ice.
4) I went hiking yesterday and we basically climbed up rocks for about a mile. (if that). First of all, after about a minute I realized that my breathing sounded like I was going into labor with triplets. Second of all, all I could think about during the hike was that we were going to eat Panera sandwiches when we got to the top, which proves the fact that I am a fat kid at heart and really should look like that fat kid from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
Or like this perhaps...
By the way, I do this in the mirror every day. No joke.
5) This kind of goes with #2 except it's way less embarrassing but way more creepy.
That awkward moment when you are in Cumberland Farms and fall instantly in love with the guy in front of you because of his long hair and his shoes. (The only two things I look at when checking guys out) and then see him get into his car in the parking lot and drive away and for a SPLIT second think about following him.
6) Lately the most intelligent conversation I've had at work is after listening to a song with the chorus of "Hey, it's the 4th of July!" and me saying out loud, "it most certainly is NOT!"
7) I have drank tea that is supposed to help with the memory and sometimes it seems that stoners can remember more stuff than me. Maybe I am doing something wrong here.
Anyway, when I watch "Snow White and the Huntsman", I don't know if Kristen Stewart's british accent is really really GOOD, or really really BAD. It's one of those things that I just don't know which it is. Or maybe it's my brain that is telling me that she is still Bella Swan, who is obsessed with vampires and always tries to kill herself so she can be the martyr. You don't fool me, Kristen. You'll always be that girl who likes to have sex with stone people.
Chris Helmsworth on the other hand. You can be anything you want as long as you stay sexy as hell.
I just thought of his brother Liam which made me think of Miley Cyrus. I follow her on Twitter (SHUT UP.) and recently she changed her profile pic which was basically her in what looks like a blazer and nothing on underneath. And what is she doing? Holding her boob. Just one of them, because you can't see the other one. This along with her drastic hair cut and her tattoos makes me think, "YOU WERE ON THE DISNEY CHANNEL FOR LIKE, 10 YEARS!" You were HANNAH MONTANA! You don't just play Hannah Montana on the DISNEY channel and then once you grow up start shaving your hair and holding your boob! And Demi Lovato is another one! She was on the Disney Channel too and then she had drug problems and self mutilation problems. People people people, Disney is supposed to be where dreams come true, not holding your own boob and doing drugs! Jus sayin. You guys should be ashamed of yourself.
Song of the day:
"Blue Jeans" Lana Del Ray
-Jenny
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