Sleeping arrangements?

So Christmas and New Years happened. This will always be my favorite time of year. I guess I'll just describe the highlights.

Christmas was very fun, like it always is. We came back from my aunt's house and we watched the Muppet Christmas Carol, and Schroeder came by at 1:30 am. We were still awake when the movie ended, so we watched it again. There is nothing like seeing the Muppet Marleys sing "We're Marley and Marley" twice. I still think that I'm right when they are going back down to wherever they came from after they sing their song, they say "CHAINS!" Because I guess they say "CHANGE!" because they are demanding that Scrooge "change" his evil ways. BUT! The Marley brothers ARE in fact, in chains. I mean, if I were wrapped up in chains, I'd be yelling out "CHAINS" too.

So anyway.

Christmas day was lovely, and I would like to say that I tried skateboarding (for the first time since I was 12-13 years old) and I somehow lost my balance going down a slight incline. What happened you ask? I totally ate shit is what happened. I fell so hard backwards that my chin actually hit the ground. I don't even know how that happened. I can't say I'm sad that it happened, I'm just saying that maybe it's the pavement's way of saying "why the HELL are you on a skateboard right now? You are 23 years old, loser!" Normally, I would say something like, "well, you're never too old to do something," but the soreness, the scrapes, and a bruise the size of Jupiter on my leg are enough evidence to say "stay away from things with wheels, asshole."

It's funny, because balance is all that snowboarding is. And I can actually snowboard. So why when I step on a skateboard, my balance goes out to lunch? It's like when I step on a skateboard my balance sees a hot guy walk by and is like "oop, see yah later!" Then WHAM! Here's the ground. AND I'd much rather fall on snow than on pavement. Just sayin.

New Year's Eve was last night, and might I say, it was glorious. Since we live in a quiet, homey, cozy neighborhood, we thought it was only proper that we light a shit ton of fireworks off in the middle of our street. Franklin and Schroeder lit them off while us girls stayed back and watched from a distance. The funny thing was, when they lit the fuse, they scampered off, giggling. Every time. There's just something about two grown men scampering and giggling that makes me laugh. The fireworks were extremely big and loud, and when they were done, we heard sirens in the distance. So we ran back into the house.

There was one point in the night that my dad was trying to figure out who was going to sleep where that night, seeing as how pretty much everyone was staying the night. I don't like to repeat this, but it simply cannot go unsaid.

This is a direct quote of what my dad had said:

"If you're tight for room tonight, you can just sleep in between mom and I..."

Upon hearing this, I bursted out in laughter, as did everyone else. When I saw that he was looking at me with not even a FLINCH of humor, I told him that he could not be serious. When his face did not change again, I realized that he said this 101% serious. It is here that I got a really weird feeling and wanted to walk out of the house forever.

Then he said to my MARRIED sister and her husband that she could sleep with Lucy and he could sleep on the couch. Dad, like seriously, they're married now. They sleep in the same bed. What part of this aren't you getting? Sometimes I think my dad's brain plays hopscotch. Like when he mixes weird alcohol together that definitely shouldn't be mixed with the other. It's funny though because nowadays, all the weird shit that he does, everyone just passes it off because now it is seen as his "normal behavior". Kind of like "Dad's doing situps in his underwear? Yeah, so? What's the issue?"

-Jenny