"My knee hurts because I have this huge rip in my jeans from being on my knees a lot at work...shut up."

So, the first thing I want to talk about is the mice that are scampering around my house. I love that word. Scamper. If I ever have another cat, his/her name is definitely going to be Scamper. I was sitting in my living room the other day just minding my own goddamned business when Diego is flipping out because there is a MOUSE that was there. They were having a good ol fashioned stare down. Then the mouse scampered away and out of our lives. OR SO WE THOUGHT. Little did we know, it was just the beginning.

So, a few nights later, around midnight thirty, I hear a commotion coming from the hallway. It was here that I heard a little squeak. I knew it was the mouse and I knew that she was probably dead now. Diego holds no prisoners. So I seek them out and Diego is walking towards me with this little mouse in her mouth. My first thought was, "Oh my God, we are NOT kissing anymore." But then I felt bad for the mouse, so I told her to put it down for some reason. Of course, if the mouse was still alive, it was obviously going to scamper away again. But it didn't. It just stood there, shaking. And you'd think Diego would go apeshit and rip it to shreds or something. But she just sat back and stared at it. Like, "yeah, I think we all know who's in charge here." (I didn't have the heart to tell her that I was, in fact, in charge.) So anyway, I didn't know what to do, so I took a towel and picked it up. Weirdly, it let me. Then I threw it outside.

It kind of sounds like I was doing a good deed here. I took the mouse from the cat's mouth and placed it gently outside. When in reality, I chucked it outside into the snow. However, when I checked a few minutes later, it was gone.

It's probably back in the house. But eh.

By the way, this is the look Diego was giving the mouse:

Speaking of snow, I took my Lucy's car to work the other day, which happened to be after a big snow storm. Our roads weren't plowed at all, so I barely got out of the driveway and started to slightly slipnslide. I thought it was quite funny/ peculiar that there is a LIGHT that goes on in the car that lets you know that you are, in fact, swerving. It's like, "Oh no, I totally don't feel myself going off the road or anything. Oh look, the light, I AM going off the road."When in reality, by the time the light goes on, you'd probably be in the trees anyway.

I was told once that I don't make fun of myself as much as I should on here. Many people seem to think that I only make fun of OTHER people. Which is obviously, COMPLETE bullcrap. But anywho.

I was having a conversation with Lucy the other day that led to me basically not knowing who Coco Chanel is. Clearly, I am not a girl. But I tried to redeem myself by simply buying a lipstick. It made me feel a little better. Anyway, here is how the conversation went:

Lucy: Do you want to watch that Coco Chanel DVD that I have?
Me: I'd rather die.
Lucy: You know who Coco Chanel is.....right??
Me: Uh, YEAH. She's a uhhhhh, I mean, isn't she a uhhhhh, doesn't she have a lot of...uhhhh.....isn't she like a fashion idol?
(she finally stops laughing)
Lucy: She's a designer, Jen.
Me: Yeah, that's what I meant.

Whatever.


Anyway, here is what I do instead of studying the fashion of Coco Chanel.

-Jenny