ZZ Top songs and imaginary baseball gloves.

So, this weekend was interesting. To say the least.

It's funny, the things you learn about people that you never knew. Like when your parents have a few friends over. And disturbing news arises.

Now, I know that when we go to the Vineyard every year, my parents tell our neighbors that they can come and use our pool any time. And I knew that our neighbors did this. No big deal. What I DIDN'T know was that they skinny dip in our pool. Now, upon hearing this, I went into shock. And by shock, I mean I started yelling a lot, and MAYBE suffered from a rage blackout. Because honestly, not only is that COMPLETELY wrong, but I came home and swam in that pool! I GOT THE WATER IN MY MOUTH! I OPEN MY EYES UNDER WATER! And you tell ME that naked people have been in my pool and NOT expect me to flip my lid!?

So anywho. Speaking of naked people, we put on a variety of CDs and the Armageddon soundtrack was one of them. This CD is full of Aerosmith and other old bands. There was a ZZ Top song, and Schroeder fell in love with it. Before the weekend was over, he bought the ringtone. Now, I don't have a problem with ZZ Top, but there's just something about the beards. It just doesn't sit right with me. Just saying. It's a fire hazard.

We went out last night to a bar, and after having many beers (who am I kidding, we were drinking all day), we were on our way home and while we were blasting Phil Collins "You'll Be In My Heart" on the back roads of Middleboro, Schroeder jacks on the brakes and says "WAS THAT A BASEBALL MITT?!" and for some reason, I thought he said "baseball bat." (Yes, I am aware that these two words do not at all sound like one another.) To which I am somewhat nervous, because when someone gets THAT excited over a baseball bat, then A) they are going to beat you senseless with it, or B) they are going to want to play baseball, and Schroeder is awful at baseball, or C) they are going to beat someone ELSE with the baseball bat, in which I wouldn't want to bail him out of jail afterwards. Then he proceeds to throw the car in reverse and back up what seemed like HALF A MILE. Upon investigating, I started cracking up because not only was it NOT a baseball mitt, but it was a piece of shiny paper on the road. We proceeded to drive home and while I was almost peeing myself laughing, all Schroeder could say was, "Damn, I thought I found myself a free baseball mitt."

But in all  honesty, would you want to stick your hand in a place you have no idea where its been?

So when we got home, we watched a movie on Lifetime. Heh. When you watch a movie on Lifetime it only means one thing. There is absolutely NOTHING else on.

The movie was "Obsessed", and it had Beyonce in it. Now, I really don't like Beyonce. I mean, I think she's a nice enough person, but as an actress, (and as a singer) I think she's awful. In this movie, her husband is being seduced by a hot blonde who just wants to get him in the sack. So I understand this dilemma, but Beyonce does not smile ONCE in this movie. It's like, yeah I know that your husband MAY OR MAY NOT BE having an affair, but it's not like your grandmother got run over by a reindeer. I mean come on. There are worse things in the world that could happen then a sex crazed blonde hussie that's after your husband's weiner. Just sayin.

I don't want to spoil the ending in case anyone wants to actually see this movie, but let's just say that Beyonce "Don't want no scrub."


-Jenny

"Hey, somebody get Pork Fried Rice out of the way."

So, going to concerts in Boston is fun. Especially when you miss the last train of the night.

Schroeder and I went to see Jack's Mannequin at the House of Blues on Friday night. The funny thing is, we're retarded. First, getting there, we took the wrong train. So we got off and proceeded to walk there. Which wasn't bad at all. When we got there, we decided to get some drinks first. (of course.)

When we got to the actual House of Blues, we took a tour of the place. We walked by the bar and both said "oh good, here is the bar." Throughout the night, that was our meeting place after we would go pee. You know it's a Jen and Schroeder night when our meeting place is the bar. But that's pretty much everywhere we go.

Anyway, we couldn't really see all that well during the show, (I told Schroeder numerous times to "PUT ME ON YOUR SHOULDERS!") which he never did. But we still had fun. We yelled, screamed, sung, and danced. Schroeder did the Carlton dance at one point while we were walking around. If no one is familiar with this dance, it goes like this:

But not as good as that.

So after the show got out, we saw that it was 11:45. We knew all night that the trains stopped running at 12:50. So, we said to ourselves, "hey, let's get another drink." So we did, and we went to this bar/club where people were dancing and there was a DJ and the music was hella loud. And instead of dancing like normal people do, we sat at the bar and I screamed about work. And before you know it, it's 12:30. Long story short, only made it back half way. Took a cab the rest of the way. I don't really like cabs, there's just something about having a complete stranger drive you somewhere. But whatever, he was a better driver than anyone in the Kaz family.

So anyway. The Superbowl happened. There is just something about me and football that don't get along. It doesn't understand me, and I don't understand it. I don't understand why all of these men weigh 200 lbs and up, and they stuff themselves into these spandex outfits. To make matters worse, they have EVERY GODDAMNED PLAY in slow motion. No, not slow motion, SUPER slow motion. Where you can see every jiggle. EVERY. JIGGLE. You'd honestly think they'd have more reasonable uniforms. AND, it's boring! Half the time they are just standing around! But anyway, the Superbowl party was fun. You know, my sister fell asleep half way through, Franklin flipped out because the Giants won, I heard a 3 year old say the phrase "Oh, SHIT!" I saw a kid run into the slider door because he thought it was open. You know, the usual.

Lessons learned: Don't go out for beers when you have less than an hour to ride two trains. Don't make fun of Asian people when they are standing directly in front of you. You'll never be tall enough to see clearly at a concert. Don't stand too close to your best friend while he is doing the "Carlton", because he will come THIS CLOSE to punching you square in the face.

-Jenny